I came to teach but definitely was taught instead.

It was the last day in the classroom! Where on earth did the time go?!

Me and my mentor teacher

This week and last week, I especially got to work with students one-on-one and in small groups and it definitely was one of my favorite aspects of the classroom.    I have learned the one of the biggest challenges that urban teachers face is definitely absent kids---its so hard to stay on top of students that only come to class 1-2 days/week! 

As a vivid reminder of the realities of my students' lives, today one of my students (who hardly ever shows up to school) randomly told me today that he struggles with severe depression and that his dad just went to jail and that's why he is always gone...the truth is we never fully know what our kids have to face outside of school.  We can judge them, we can be angry, we can label them as "problems" or "bad", but what does that really solve? Absolutely nothing!  I'm sick of seeing teachers, administrators and parents write kids off and fail to see their potential.  Our kids AT LEAST deserve adults who consistently show them care and an unconditional hope that they can succeed.

This student also is constantly being bullied even though he is easily the biggest kid in 7th grade, and on Tuesday another boy in our class got arrested because he beat him up so badly.  This cycle of lack of care needs to be reversed because it starts so young, and I believe this can be done through the educational system!

Some o' the ninos

I'm getting emotional as I write this for many reasons.  One, because I'm going to miss the crap out my students, Everett Middle School, San Francisco and the group I am with. The transition back to life at Whitworth is going to be quite a shock to the system. Secondly, because I have learned so, so much about myself personally, as a teacher and what it means to be a part of the most diverse country in the world and I am utterly grateful that I have had this opportunity to help and be helped, to teach and be taught, to love and be loved.

10 Random Things I Have Learned in San Francisco

1. The best classroom management is student e

ngagement in learning! Oh the kids aren't focused? Yeah, well half the time your lesson is boring...so I don't blame them!

2. With kids of color, be very direct in your approach to them. Cut the crap and tell them exactly what you mean!

3. There actually is such thing as sunshine in this world.

4. As much I hate to admit this, the standard of your classroom has to vary according to where you are and whom you are working with.  Be fluid and adaptive in your ideas about good teaching!

5. I learned that I definitely want to work with middle schoolers because they are hilarious, awkward and have so much energy that just needs to be channeled.

6. The bus...literally the place where you will have the weirdest and funniest experiences (some wrought with a TON of cultural tension)

7. I have learned that even the worse situations (like the awful fight) can be used for amazing positivity and growth.

8. The morning sucks! But coffee will turn me into 

a human and will make me sane when I have to get up before the crack of dawn.  But I will always be bitter about a teacher’s schedule J

9.  If my students can come to by class after not even having a home to sleep in or food to eat, I can damn sure come to class and be prepared, consistent and positive!

And I was the only one who did the "crazy" ha...

10.  Most importantly, I have learned that whether you are a white kid in suburban Spokane or kid of color in inner-city San Francisco, you just want to be respected, given a good education, and cared about---and you deserve it!

The Things that Keep Me Going

Shemar asking: "Miss Siri, could you help me with my homework at lunch?". Oh my gosh.  Of course! Probably the most precious moments I've had here, sitting in the library, chatting, laughing, eating lunch and helping him on his research report.

Brittany and Sarah remembering my birthday: "Did you have a good birthday, Miss Siri?!"

Little Shayron with his dimples constantly dancing for the class.  Then giving a "Shout out to all the 7th graders for working so hard in the Brain Bowl today". Oh my gosh. Precious.

Avinash asking, "Miss Siri, will you stay here forever?".

These are the things that keep me going when things are so challenging, emotionally, mentally, physically.

Literacy "Brain Bowl" today! So much fun!  Each class of 7th graders competed against each other in this game, where they had to work in groups of 3 to come up with the answers to questions, then they would have to run up to the front of the assembly with their answer to get the next question.  My class got last place out of the five classes, but still it was astonishing and exciting to see how engaged everyone was...even the toughest kids who are always giving attitude!

Today at dinner I found out a kind, hardworking student, Eric, is homeless.  I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness.  Why does he come to class prepared, eager, is sweet and listens well, wants to be a policeman even though all the other African American boys make fun of him, and doesn't even get to leave school and go to a home?

It's instances like these break my heart in a very powerful way.  It's these instances that fuel my passion for education and the hope that I can make an impact in students' overall lives.  True, I may not be able to fix the horrifying situations that the kids come from, and in fact, I shouldn't because that's not what a teacher does---but I can give them tools, knowledge, life skills and a safe place that will help them learn how to navigate life better.

I am currently reading "Teaching Hope" by Erin Gruwell, my hero who is the real woman from the movie Freedom Writers.  I got to meet her this fall at a YWCA luncheon and I always look back at the front cover of the book she signed, "Siri---Give a voice to the voiceless!".  I will try Erin, I will try my hardest.

Living MLK's Dream

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can 

do that.  Hate cannot drive out: only love can do that."  -MLK

On Friday we had a Community Circle time again in class and we had the students read and listen to the original recording of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech excerpt.  I cannot describe how powerful it was to be sitting there and know that his dream has directly influenced most of the kids sitting there, whether they recognized that or not.  However, many of the students at the beginning were goofing off and being disrespectful.  My teacher was not having it and so she turned to them and said, "I cannot believe you guys.  You are African American and this is your leader.  You are disrespecting your own leader!" And the kids instantly shut up and where the most engaged I have seen them since being there!  After we listened to it, we asked discussion questions to get the kids involved and to the first question about how it made them feel to hear that speech, kids answered: "proud", "inspired", "happy" etc. and they needed no prompting to express how they felt.

Ms. Olguin then asked them about if they thought Dr. King's dream had been achieved or not, and the worst kid in the class Darrious answered, "brothers are still killing brother".  Black-on-black crime is a huge problem and the fact that he recognized that, was huge to me.  My teacher then told them that the government builds prisons based on how many people don't graduate high school, and I think the students were shocked to hear that.  So many of them ask me about college, what it's like, if it's hard, what I'm studying---I truly think inner-city kids hold the dream of going to college, but they don't have the support and facts that are necessary to actually get them there.

On Sunday we went as a group to Glide Memorial Methodist Church, a gospel church in the heart of the Tenderloin (the neighborhood we were told emphatically to stay away from!).  The music was so fun and lively and the paster Cecil Williams had marched with Dr. King back in the 60s, so it was fascinating to hear him speak on peace and love.  The congregation was very racially and otherwise diverse and it was very fun to be a part of something so different.

Today (Monday) I organized a group of us to go downtown and march in the MLK Parade! I was so happy, although people were reluctant to go at first, 10 of us ended up marching.  To think that only a short 50 years ago, this event commemorating the march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama was met with resistance and now it is organized by cities all around the country fills my soul with joy.  Seeing faces of all colors and walks of life show their respect to MLK and his vision for unity and opportunity for all is what my intercultural experience is all about.  As a future educator, I will be a steward of the doctor's vision and that is one of the aspects of teaching that I am most excited about!

My teacher is absent? Guess I'll teach today!

Yesterday my teacher was out (sick) with no warning to me.  I got to Everett at 7:45 and saw that her name was on the absentee board, and to my dismay there was no sub yet either! So I freaked out a bit and give her a call...only to be given a few pointers about assigning a worksheet that I compiled yesterday. I walked to my class with my heart pounding in my chest...am I really going to be these kids sole teacher for the day?  Luckily, the sub shows up, late of course, and I am horrified to find that I can barely hear his voice when he introduces himself as "Mr. Kokame".  The kids would literally eat him for breakfast!

And so my first full day of teaching begins.  No real lesson plan.  But here goes nothing.

I won't lie to you and say my day was a huge success or that hit it out of the park: The block 1st and 2nd period went okay; however, the 4/6th block went pretty bad: yelling, fighting etc. One of the teachers came in to my room at one point because she could hear the class in the hallway.  Embarrassing? Yes...but hello, I'm supposed to be a volunteer here.  My voice got hoarse at one point from talking over the kids, and it was so hard because I don't know all the support policies for dealing with behavioral issues.  All I can say is that I survived; we accomplished some work and no one freaked out or got hurt.  We are working on reading strategies and learning how to scan for important information in a text, all interesting stuff and so I definitely enjoy the content part which is great.

Is it bad to say that I think that in itself is a success?

There I was, with what the other teachers have described as the "worst middle school class in the whole city of San Francisco" and I am trying to lead them through productive and safe eight periods.  A kindly neighbor teacher told me that if I could do that for a day, I could do anything---which is exactly how I feel! Student teaching? No sweat, bring it on.

Please pray for me. My teacher is probably going to be out again tomorrow and so I will be teaching the entire day again!  The encouragement I have received from friends and family has been the thing that has kept me going and has kept me from cracking.  I have so much respect for teachers who have the strength and courage to dedicate themselves to giving quality education to these kids, who so desperately need a safe place that will help them thrive.

And there are so many little redeeming instances throughout my day that are rewarding and keep me sane.  A kid smiling and saying "sup" to me in the halls, a student understands a concept when I help them, a volunteer to clean up my classroom, the list goes on and on.  Thank God for the little things :) 

The Fight.

Inner-city is intense.

Hands down, this is extremely difficult stuff and it is very hard for me not to get involved emotionally as a teacher.  Yesterday challenged me in ways I never have been before.  I had to fill out a witness report form---for what you ask? The worst fight that the teachers of Everett have seen.

 It all started in my 2nd period class between a male and a female, let's call them "D" and "M" for professionalism's sake.  D and M started getting into some words (which happens every other second normally), and the boy started really provoking her about "losing a fight on Friday", and she already has a bad reputation with all the teachers for fighting.  I was between them trying to calm them down but it kept escalating to a point where Ms. Olguin had to step in and separated them by sending D to the hall.  This made him absolutely livid because he was thought he was being punished and so he said offensive things to her all the way out---this pushed M over the edge and so she ran out to him fists swinging.  He, being stronger, punched her first in the face and then knocked her down, pinned her, and pummeled her.

By the time I got out there, he was on her and M's face was gushing blood.  Luckily another teacher was there to pull them off (I would have, which I would've been BAD because I'm not trained and I would be liable! ah!), and the security guards and police were there quickly.  I had to keep the gawking class back, but I was extremely shocked as well.  Some of the girls in my class were so upset that they were hysterically crying and so they had to leave to go see the counselors. To my teacher, this was not a big deal, but to me it was absolutely horrifying---especially because it was a boy beating up a girl. The responses of everyone were varied: some kids were mad at the teacher for not intervening, some were scared, some shocked, some disgusted.

These kids are 12 and 13. Kids. And this is what that have to experience.  Nobody should see that, let alone impressionable and vulnerable middle schoolers.

My heart breaks for these kids in ways that I can never describe.  That they have to see this violence at school, which is supposed to be a safe place for them, and that when they go home each day they may see the same thing from people who are supposed to be protecting them from the world.  Today we had a "Community Circle" time where the principal, vice principal and counselors directed a dialogue about what happened yesterday and turned it into a constructive learning experience.  They passed around a stuffed animal and had each kid talk about what happened, how they felt about it, and what the school could do to better create a safe and healthy environment.

I might have to testify in juvy court because M's mom is pressing charges against the boy.  It's hard for me to see him go to juvenile detention because it takes him away from his education and gives him a permanent record---but kids have to see the consequences for their actions.  And the heartbreaking ending to this story?  My friend was passing back his test the same day and he got an A-.

If I wasn't too tired, I would cry.

Getting into the Rhythm

Yesterday I went for the most beautiful run with my classmates Danielle and Elizabeth! We hopped on the 47 down to the Fishermen's Wharf, which was an easy 10 minutes ride, and ran into town and then turned around and ran towards the most gorgeous views of Alcatraz, Ghiradelli Square, and last but not least, the Golden Gate Bridge.  Perfect sunset outing and great people watching.

And now the first week is over! So far, I've only had to break up one fight and taught with my teacher's baby on my hip for an entire class period.  The thrill of new experiences! Today at Everett we had a half-day, A schedule (dang these schedules are confusing, even Ms. Olguin doesn't ever know the times) and a lot of the kids had their "Friday attitude" on.  By this I mean that it was a bit of a rough morning, even though we moved some of the trouble kids like ShayRon and Dreon to the front of the class, they still figured out a way to drive us crazy.  They definitely have their redeeming moments too, however.  For instance ShayRon did his best to interpret the quiet and fuzzy morning announcements to the class and he made it into his own little comedy show.

At the end of the day the highlight was the 7th grade assembly! All the kids were corralled into the huge auditorium that was filled with loud hip-hop, parents and teachers.  Let's just say a little chaotic. They showed some music videos, made announcements, passed out awards for academic improvement and did a skit---organized by me! The students were sooo nervous to get up in front of their peers, but they ended up doing a really good job and I was so proud of them.

Everything is different at the schools.  The clothes are different (black pants and a white collared shirt uniform, and no red or blue because of the gangs---kids either have to take off those colors or they are sent home), the talk is different , the way kids interact is different, and expectations are different!  It's really interesting to try to picture these kids in one of the schools I have worked at in Spokane and vice-versa.  They are literally two different worlds.  I want so badly for these kids to have opportunities to succeed in life and it kills me to think that some already seem to have their paths set to gangs or poverty and lots of struggles.  Most ride the buses or undergrounds to school and they have to grow up incredibly young to survive.  However, the one thing that I like about middle school is that kids are less set in their ways and there is more opportunity to be formative in their lives. It's ridiculously hard to get a 12th grader reading at a 4th grade level up to par simply because there isn't enough time, but they are still pretty young in middle school.

Students make me laugh all the time with the direct and no-filter things they say ("yo head look like an egg!"), but I try not to let them see me laughing.  I already have a soft spot for them, which I can't let them see of course, and I feel like I'm getting into a rhythm!

And now for the first weekend...tonight we might go out and also go to Chinatown! Dim Sum anyone?

El Primer Dia de Escuela!

Day one at the school was a whirlwind!  After waking up to a dark world, literally and figuratively because I am not a morning person, we ran late for the bus (seems to be a trend ha) and arrived at Everett just in the nick of time, a few minutes till 8 am.  I was a little nervous to meet the teacher I was paired with, but all my fears dissipated when she happened to be in the office and greeted me with loudness and bear hugs!

I was whisked into 1^st period, Room 217 (correction) and life with Ms. Olguin---a small, vivacious Mexican woman who just came back from maternity leave.  She doesn’t know a lot of the students’ names because she’s been gone and so that makes me feel a little better.  I think we are going to get along quite well.  I have 5 periods of 7^th grade Language Arts, a prep period, and a CPT (Common Planning Time) meeting.  The CPT meeting was fascinating and I got to see collaboration between the literacy coach, librarians and department teachers; the next unit they are doing will be centered around the oppression of women through media and its affects on body image/self-esteem.  A.k.a right up my alley and SUPER interesting---I’m so excited to be a part of it!

I love the diversity of the students: Mexicans, Salvadorians, Filipinos, Eritreans and the list goes on and on.  It’s so invigorating to me and a lot different than the diversity of downtown Spokane.  I got to organize the “Student Surveys” which each student filled out and they said what languages they spoke, who they lived with and other details about themselves that I wouldn’t’ normally be privy to.  Mesmerizing stuff.

Being at the school also makes me wish that mi Espanol was mejor, considering most of the students and teachers speak the language to each other!  Another interesting fact about Everett is that over half the staff was recently fired, and so most of the staff is very young, some are even my age! Makes for lots of energy and a passion for new ideas.  It’s going to be a great month, filled with lots of learning and growth….and exhaustion!

Most Interesting Cultural Moment

A young African American student started ranting about how black students never live with their parents, and then he asked me: if my parents were alive, if I had a dad and if I actually lived with them too---to all of which I answered yes.  And he said, “that’s because you’re not black!”.  He didn’t live with his parents and neither did any of the other black students around him. It really hit me hard that this is what these kids have to go through L

Highlights of the day:

1)   ~Being needed and used right away in the classroom: helping students, making worksheets, overseeing library visits, running errands etc.

2)   ~Holding my teacher’s 6 month old baby Gian Carlo who is going to be an absolute heartbreaker one day

3)   ~Having my students remember my name and even acknowledge me outside the classroom and say goodbye!

4)   ~Sitting in the beautiful, gardened “teacher’s courtyard” in the HOT sun for lunch

5)   ~Seeing differences in schools settings: security guards, doors are always locked, most materials are in Spanish and English